The first week of the trip I was enjoying fully, diving, walking or sitting on my porch editing the day’s pictures. Sitting on the porch at sunset certainly wasn’t hard.
Arriving to Gozo I was feeling strong and I got one week of diving and exploring and then it started. I started having a fever and blisters in my mouth and it lasted more than two weeks. Weakness from being sick and not being able to eat and especially the pain was hard to handle.
Being out travelling is usually easier than this time. I had to try hard to enjoy my holiday. I had to stop diving and try to reserve what little energy I had to get well. Missing out on many of the activities I had looked forward to is sad but it couldn’t be helped. You cannot force the body to get well and you cannot rush new experiences.
My big new experience here was my dive course, it was the start of taking diving to a new level. It’s both a good project and a source of motivation. It seems like I always need lots of motivation. Maybe I need a change?
“Work less – dive more”
Having a good job and a flat back home is keeping me back. It keeps me in some kind of field of normality even though much of my life is outside normality. I have had thoughts about becoming a dive professional and pushed them aside but I think that maybe I should try it?
About training new skills and struggling to make it my instructor told me:
“But you just see that as a challenge”
And really, I see everything as a challenge, it’s a compliment when someone sees this in me. I used to be filled with problems but now I’m able to manage them instead. Progress I love you!
Am I a dreamer or a bit crazy considering becoming a dive professional when I have a good job which pays pretty well? I’ve been breaking many bad habits during the last years. Making big changes to my lifestyle to be in control more of my own life, shaping it after my own preferences, and also reducing the stress I feel from society and myself. I’ve made much progress, especially on a personal level. But I have also been alone, away, and have had to handle some pretty hard situations.
As always I come to discuss how doing things that you think are hard or scary will change your world view as these things won’t be hard or scary anymore. Opening up for conquering more and more.
Another thing us humans fear about change is the feeling that what we change cannot be reversed. What we don’t feel and probably try not to realise is that not much is permanent. We aught to fear this more.
For me, not much can be worse than standing still. Change is hard and scary but stagnation is far worse. We need to dream, and to try things out for ourselves and we need to explore and experience.
Thank you Lukasz Lipinski from U-dive for sharing some of your pictures with me.