Discipline equals freedom 

For my last month in Kiruna I’ve gone back and forth to Gothenburg a few times. I‘ve visited the west coast a week when some things needed taking care of. Also showed the city to someone who isn’t familiar with Gothenburg. Went to Trädgårdsföreningen’s palm-tree house and it just happened we came on a day when people were there playing the violin. The sound danced through the greenhouse and was a lovely mix with the white light and the blue sky. 

Also visited the “Universum” science park. It’s a big building next to Liseberg (another famous site). Universum is proud to present a multi storey park with different climate zones on different floors. The rainforest is three floors high showing the 3D characteristics of such an environment with different organisms suited to live on different layers. The plants and animals are fascinating both for small and big children (including chronological adults).

Down south I have seen both the sunset and the moon again. This is strange since I’ve had months of light. Having the sun go down definitely makes it easier to fall asleep but it’s not as special as the days constantly changing from one extreme to the other. 

When I got back home to Kiruna I ran the race “Jägarmilen” (rangers 10k). I found it a week earlier only but thought it would be a good way to say goodbye to beautiful Kiruna. A few thousand people were running and I was surprised it was that big. Was fun to finally do a real race! I have looked at many races before but never had the time or probably more important –  the guts to through with it. 

I have been stationed in Kiruna now for 10 months but will change company and at the end of August I moved from Kiruna. I packed and made the long drive back home. With the small complication that I’m not moving into my apartment until November.

With the new job, which also is my old job, I get to be in Gothenburg every other weekend and see my friends. Sure will be good to have a little surface support again. I think I’ve been below the polar circle 8 days this year (not counting holidays in other countries. Last year I worked over a bigger area up north and was home 16 days in total. It’s starting to be a while I’ve been away from home. Don’t know much what has happened in Gothenburg the last three years, will be fun to find out! I miss you!

Travelling both for work and for fun I have met wonderful people and been to places I’d never go to unless I worked like this.  I will try for a while now to do a restart in Gothenburg and see what happens. It’s time to start a new adventure. I’m not exactly ready but I look forward to learning new things again. 

“Activity equals life – stagnation equals death”

I’m a much stronger person after travelling a few years. I was lost and confused when I started and it has had ups and downs but it has strengthened me. I used to be afraid to get lost, to feel alone, not be accepted as I am. But what I realize is that when I’ve been going it alone I have faced my fears. I still struggle some times but not having place to live for two months doesn’t bother me, missing the ferry in a foreign country doesn’t make me mad and confused – I just modify the plan. I have learned a lot.

I am at most times good at handling a wide range of tasks simultaneously. My motto “structure and discipline” has taken me forward through life. I think I have taken this on to relieve the anxiety I feel about achieving a goal or task. I know that if you are prepared you just have to execute. Picking tasks apart into subtasks and coming prepared does a lot to take the stress and off.

I’m a high achiever, high stress person. This combined with being conscientious isn’t always perfect. In many ways I like being under pressure. At the same time I can make myself very unhappy, often unnecessarily. Balance needs to be the goal as with many things in life. And you can’t force balance, you can’t buy it or get it from someone else. You can work towards it but being such an abstract concept I don’t know if it can be achieved.

 It would be a paradox to have perfect balance.

As always I’m thinking a lot, questioning myself and my decisions. I heard this on a podcast I listen to:

If you don’t have doubt you’re not challenging yourself enough

Spending as much time in airplanes or public transportation I’ve been thinking about how I am perceived. I’m seasoned and travel in comfortable clothes and with a lot of luggage most times. Today I laughed out loud sitting in my own little world watching a Ted talk. A wingsuit pilot got the question: did you ever get a request you wasn’t going to do, that you said no to? And he replied:

– Of course. Some people have crazy ideas

Perspective!

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Author: experiencetravellerblog

Diving, hiking, trail running - love a good view! Travel to experience tropical waters and high alpine environments. To see the world and myself from different perspectives. Join the experience!

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